Rating - NC-17
Pairings - Major pairings: Angelus/William, Angelus/Darla, William/Darla. Minor pairings are various combinations of those six.
Keywords/Warnings: Found in some but not all chapters: Het and Slash Smut, Violence, Bloodplay, Torture, Rape. As you see by the pairings, I'm firmly of the opinion that as vampires, Angelus and William would have had a physical (sexual) relationship. If you don't agree, don't read this series.
Summary: This is my take on William's past, starting with being turned by Angelus, in 1880. I try to stick as close as possible to the timeline as given us by Joss Whedon where possible, but most of this is all my ideas, my attempts to "fill-in-the-blanks."
Dedications: To CrazyEvilDru, my beta and my favorite Buffy-Fic author in this world. She got me into writing smut, and then encouraged me in my first attempt at writing m/m smut, the first story of this series.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Spike whimpered as his sire bit his throat playfully. "Gods... please..." he gasped. Angelus had been stroking him lazily for hours, keeping his touches light enough so that Spike couldn't find completion.
His sire kissed him, forcefully, his hand gripping his cock harder. Spike moaned loudly into his mouth, and wrapped his arms around the other man's waist.
Angelus pulled away and said, "You may come if you need to, Will."
Spike gasped when Angelus began to stroke him even harder, almost painfully. He was so close... He closed his eyes as the sensations overwhelmed him.
"Look at me, Childe," Angelus requested. Spike opened his eyes and meet the older vampire's gaze. "That's it," his sire said with a smile. "I want to see your beautiful face when you come." The expression on his face was so tender, something Spike hadn't seen in weeks. And seeing that, his orgasm hit. He screamed Angelus' name, fighting to keep his eyes open as he'd asked.
Angelus kissed him, gently, as his hand worked him down from his climax. He dipped his head to suck and lick at his boy's jugular, causing Spike to whimper.
"You're mine, Will, and I'll never give you up," Angelus whispered as he kissed his way to his boy's earlobe. "Not for anything."
Spike sighed contentedly, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "I'm not likely to ask you to," he said, slipping his arms around Angelus' shoulders.
"That's good," Angelus murmured against his neck. "Because I think I've fallen in love with you, my boy."
Spike felt the tears sting his eyes in response to that revelation. He had never expected his sire to feel that way, or even if he did, to admit it. It was overwhelming. "I... I love you too," he whispered.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"NO!"
Spike sat up, looking around frantically. He calmed down as he reassured himself that he was alone.
It had just been a dream.
A very upsetting dream, but a dream nonetheless. He wasn't sure what he was more upset about: that he'd dreamt of being intimate with his sire, or that he'd revealed--
No. He hadn't revealed anything. He didn't really lo- feel that way about Angelus. His subconscious had merely been having some fun at his expense. He *was* attracted to the older vampire... and he supposed he felt ... something... for him. It was only natural; Angelus was his sire, after all. But whatever it was, it wasn't... it couldn't be ... *that*.
*It can't be,* Spike told himself again as he got out of bed and began to pace. *I love Dru. And she cares about *me*, too. And she needs me. And she's everything I've ever wanted: sweet, innocent, beautiful. She's the only reason I'm still here.*
A small voice screamed 'liar!' in his head, but he ignored it. He also ignored the erection caused by the dream. If he acknowledged that, he'd have to deal with other difficult issues. And he didn't want to. He wanted to sleep.
*It's just a physical thing,* he decided as he returned to bed. *Mutual physical attraction. And there's the bond, because he made me, which makes it more powerful than it would be if he were just some random good-looking, sensual, breath-taking--
"Damn it!" he yelled. He threw a pillow across the room in frustration. *No, no, no. He's just my sire. And I'm just grateful, because he saved me from the slayer. It's *not* lo- It's nothing more than lust.*
He shut his eyes and refused to think any more about it.
***********
Angelus heard his boy's outburst and was surprised to hear William still awake. He looked at the clock and saw it was three in the afternoon. Yes, *he* was still up, but his mind had been too busy for him to sleep. He'd been trying to decide on the best plan of action for how to deal with his childe. He didn't want to do *anything* to push Will farther away.
But now he was curious - and a little worried - wondering why the boy was still awake at this hour. He'd been injured badly and needed sleep in order to heal quickly. He pulled some pants on and walked to his boy's room. He listened outside the door, but when he heard nothing, he decided to enter. If Will had fallen asleep, he didn't want to awaken him again.
He stood just inside and stopped as the smell of Will's arousal assaulted his senses. He looked over at his childe, who was lying on his side, his eyes closed. He was under a sheet, but he was awake. Angelus knew this because he saw the movement of the boy's arm. Not just any movement, though. He was most definitely touching himself.
Angelus bit his lip to hold in a moan as his cock grew hard in response to the realization. He wanted desperately to get a better view. But he didn't move. If Will discovered he was there, he'd stop. And Angelus had no intention of causing *that* to happen. As long as his childe wasn't aware of his presence, he'd just listen to the panting and the soft moans and whimpers. His memory could provide the resst of the image necessary to fully enjoy the sight.
He was amazed that Will hadn't felt his presence, though.
*Or maybe he does?* he considered. *It wouldn't be the first time he's chosen to ignore me. But why would he do that, now? He doesn't mind letting me watch??* He frowned. *I find that hard to believe. Maybe he --
"Angelus..." Will moaned, and his body shuddered violently as he climaxed.
Angelus gasped in shock. Will had been fantasizing about him? This was more than he could have dared to hope for. Proof positive that his boy really did want him. Wanted him so badly that he'd resorted to a daydream, because he was still not ready to let them be that intimate in reality.
Spike lay there for a few moments, feeling regret that he'd had to fantasize about his sire, when the other vampire was just down the hall. Memory just wasn't as good as the real thing. He also felt slightly guilty for giving into his lust even to that extent. But he had had no hopes at getting to sleep, his dream had aroused him so much. He'd tried to ignore it, but he'd just gotten more agitated. So he'd made a compromise with his lust.
Suddenly, as he returned fully to reality, he sensed --
*Oh bloody hell. NO!*
He opened his eyes. He hadn't imagined it. He knew those black trousers well. Angelus looked really good in them...
He raised his eyes to his sire's face. Instead of the mocking smile he'd expected, he just saw ... that same affectionate smile that had been there earlier. He was slightly relieved, but not completely. Because now Angelus had seen - heard- *Oh gods.*
"I didn't knock because I thought you were probably asleep," Angelus said by way of explanation. "But I thought I heard something, and I came to check on you. I wanted to make sure you were all right. Are you?" he asked.
He saw the surprise in Will's eyes. He'd decided not to confront his boy about what he'd just witnessed, because that would only humilate Will. And he didn't want to do anything to make the boy regret giving into his attraction for him in even a fantasy.
"I..." Spike was shocked. Angelus wasn't even going to ask? Wasn't going to make him admit what he'd just done?
Maybe he really *was* trying to make things better between them, and be more considerate of his feelings. Oh, he wanted to believe that his sire could be trusted again. But...
"Will?" Angelus asked, sitting on the bed. His boy met his gaze and Angelus sensed his growing nervousness. It had become such a typical response lately, but he still hated it. He wanted his childe to be comfortable with him again. *It'll just take time* he reminded himself. "How's the wound?" he asked.
"It's... not as bad as it was," Spike replied. "Hurts a little, but not enough to keep me awake."
"I'm glad to hear it," Angelus replied with a little smile. "So can I ask why you aren't asleep, then?"
"I..." Spike hesitated. "I was. Had a dream." He figured that response was safe enough, since he hadn't said what *kind* of dream he'd had.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Angelus asked.
"No!" Spike replied, too quickly and sighed in irritation at himself. "No, it wasn't important. I'm fine."
Angelus managed to keep from smiling at the quick response. "Good. Do you need anything?" he wondered, laying his hand on Will's hip, casually. The younger vampire jumped a little at the physical contact but didn't pull away.
"N-no," Spike replied, trying not to think about how his skin burned from his sire's touch through the thin fabric of the sheet. He bit back a groan as his penis stirred again. *No, no no!* He tried to force himself to calm down. He'd *never* get any sleep, at this rate."
"All right," Angelus nodded. "I'll leave you, so you can get cleaned up and go back to sleep." He couldn't resist the urge to run a hand through his boy's hair. He was pleased when Will closed his eyes and let out a sigh of contentment. "Sweet dreams, my boy," he added with a smile as he leaned in for a kiss.
Spike closed his eyes as Angelus kissed him, and kept them closed when the older vampire pulled away, to keep Angelus from seeing his embarrassment. 'Get cleaned up,' he'd said, which meant he knew. He knew everything. He'd watched Spike bring himself to orgasm, and had heard him cry out Angelus' name.
He heard the door close behind his sire and let out a sigh of relief, grateful that Angelus had chosen not to embarrass him further by confronting him about what he'd seen. He got to his feet, walking into the bathroom to wipe the semen from his skin. *I *was* still covered*, he reasoned. *So at least I didn't give him the complete show.* He knew that that didn't matter, though. Angelus had seen the evidence of how much Spike wanted him.
*So what? He didn't do anything about it, other than tease me a little. It could've been *much* worse* he thought as he returned to bed. He was determined not to worry about it. He would sleep, and whatever happened tomorrow, he'd deal with it. At least he might be able to get some sleep now, since he'd given into what he'd wanted, in a fantasy at least. And hopefully he wouldn't be disturbed by any *more* sexual dreams involving his sire.